|Maybe it was Karmic retribution,
but after "The Incident",
we had nothing but a long string of
bum or just plain lame GPS points.
We did dig up a few more
bonus IBE points, but sheesh -
we won't be doing the GPS tour
next year, that's for sure!
|First we attempted to take another road
to the Vermillion Cliffs coordinates.
After 30 miles of hideously lumpy, bumpy,
sandy road we arrived at: Nothing.
In the middle of a beautiful national monument,
our GPS locale was a hill, like every other hill
we'd passed in the last 30 miles.
On the upside, our Chiropractor made a few
extra bucks off us when we got home.
|Our next GPS point was right by the Navajo Bridge,
the Glen Canyon Dam, and a variety of museums.
Where do we end up?
At Antelope Canyon - certainly a beautiful place,
but staring down yet another 4x4 only road!
Come on - Clearly the person who submitted
this group of coordinates was either unaware
that they should be readily accessible,
or figured that since he got there easily on his
KLR650 that we should be able to lumber
on over on our giant beasts just as easily.
|We threw in the towel for the day,
and started fresh the following day
with this incredibly lucky find:
A community near Flagstaff called
Mountainaire, which netted us
a cool three bonus points.
Sweet! The day was off to a good start!
|OK, maybe this wasn't spelled out
carefully enough in the coordinate
submission instructions, but if the
point is to take a picture of your
motorcycle in a particular location,
doesn't that necessarily rule out
roads that are closed to all vehicles
except for park trams?
This time we could get to the
coordinates, we just couldn't get our
bikes there. (And we weren't willing to
risk our $24 entrance fee to try!)
|Aaaand then it was right about this time
that my Zumo crapped out on me.
Just wouldn't turn back on.
No more route, no GPS coordinates, no XM,
no MP3s, no traffic or weather info - nada.
Just up and died.
Of course, there is no cell phone reception
in the park, and by the time we found
a phone Garmin had already closed.
And it was Friday, so that meant the last
two days and half-dozen GPS points were
basically lost to the cosmos.
OK, Karma! I'm sorry I ambushed
my husband in his most vulnerable moment!
Now can't we catch a little slack?
|Oh, Looky! It's nothing in the middle of nowhere!
And it's too stinkin' hot to even breathe! Hooray!
Now take the stupid picture so we can leave.
|Not yet ready to admit defeat
(and not wanting to have to ride back through the
desert again to re-attempt the coordinates later),
I spent hours on our hotel computer digging up maps
of the remaining coordinates retrieved
from our (slightly damp) hard copy of the list.
They all jived with where Zumo had shown them,
but it is clear at this point that either Zumo has
it out for us, or the person who submitted these
points has a twisted sense of humor, or both.
Either way, we were giving it one last shot.
|On the long, broiling journey back to the highway
from the above-referenced nothing point in
the middle of nowhere near Lake Mead,
we decided to take advantage of a little clause
that allows for the possibility of rhyming locations.
Since only locations within the United States are
counted towards the IBE contest, and some places
(like Argentina) are not in the US and don't have a
like-named town here, some flexibility is allowed.
We figured Kingman is close enough to Kingston
to get the job done, and if not, hey - at least we tried
to salvage something out of the hour-long wasted
side trip to nothing in the middle of nowhere.
|Just for the record - our picture of what a
REASONABLE GPS locale should look like!*
*Not an actual point-carrying GPS coordinate.
|And the insults just keep rolling in!
That's right, boys - pile 'em on!
"Hey, I know! I'll submit my own
house as a GPS waypoint!
Then I'll get one point just for being in
my own garage! Duh-hick!"
|Why stop there?
How about an empty cul-de-sac
in an industrial park!
Is this where the place used to be
that blew up a decade or so back?
Either way, I don't care!
What's really important is that
it's 195 degrees out and we're
bordering on heat stroke to get
pictures of - NOTHING!!
|YES! YES! And we'll wrap it up with a
difficult-to-access shoulder next to a
Heck, seems like a good idea to me!
Of all the stuff in Vegas, we've got a house,
an empty lot, and a freeway offramp,
all within about two miles of each other.
Three easy points for some wiener in Vegas,
and the final straw for us.
The last two GPS points were officially
scrapped from the travel plans
(both Zumo and the computer showed them
to be in the middle of Death Valley with no
particular road access - thanks anyways).
|So how did we spend our wild and crazy night in Vegas?
Well, we started out by applying ice packs to the burns we suffered on our legs from
sitting over a screaming hot engine and riding all day through a blast furnace.
Then, we hit Hot Dog on a Stick for some high-rolling grub.
We followed that up with a trip to the arcade, where we didn't play anything,
then we caught two movies. Then we went to sleep around 11pm.
OK, OK, I know - but you have to realize we're old and crusty now.
That, and we both used to live here and we like our money pretty much
not just going away, so all of that part of the city has kind of lost it's luster for us.
Plus, we were tired. So there.